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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29345574">[DVD Commentary] i need a tall glass of something</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/amosanguis/pseuds/amosanguis'>amosanguis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>DVD Commentary Challenge, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:15:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,635</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29345574</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/amosanguis/pseuds/amosanguis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan bites him. Maybe a little too hard. Maybe not hard enough. There’s definitely blood, but whatever – Shane’s finger is still attached and Ryan’s still a fucking parrot. They’re both losers here.</p><p> </p><p>  <b>hello, i'm amosanguis. welcome to my crib!</b></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>DVD Commentary Challenge</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>[DVD Commentary] i need a tall glass of something</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            [Restricted Work] by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/amosanguis/pseuds/amosanguis">amosanguis</a>. Log in to view.
        </li>

    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>[before i start, i want to give a shout out to the podfic that’s done by sylvaine, KDheart, idella, frecklebombfic, growlery, and Vidriana; sylvaine absolutely nails the tone i was going for, so go give that a listen!! also, i’m drinking so expect this to get slightly more ridiculous as we go along.]</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>-z-</p><p> </p><p>If Ryan gets out of this, he’s never coming<strong>*</strong> back to <strong>New Orleans</strong>.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p><strong>shouldn’t that be ‘going back to’ instead of ‘coming’???; no beta we die like mne; it’s too late to fix since it’s already been podfic’d. anyway, </strong> <strong>all shenanigans must start in new orleans.</strong></p>
</blockquote><p>Never.</p><p>Possibly because if he has sit here and listen to Shane argue with the airline staff about the importance of emotional support animals on a plane for another hour he’s going to die. Just straight up give up his ghost. And, oh god, if he dies like this will his <strong>ghost be human or—</strong></p><p>
  <strong>Ryan forces himself to quash the thought with a shake of his head.</strong>
</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>let’s play a game of how long can i drag this out before <em>explicitly</em> say that ryan is a parrot? in all seriousness, i like to move around things like this for as long as i can (if it works within the context of the story). it's like writing a zombie fic without ever using the word 'zombie'.</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>i loved writing this next scene. i wanted it to a little angsty, but in a way that’s absolutely hilarious, and i think it turned out.</strong>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
</blockquote><p>Ryan will never forgive Shane.</p><p>“I’ll see you in a few hours, okay, buddy?” Shane says–</p><p>—well,<em> tries</em> to say, because Ryan is squawking and flapping his brand fucking new wings and his bright green feathers are standing straight up and—<em>no</em>, just. Fuck. No. He’s not getting into the—</p><p>“I’m so fucking sorry, Ryan,” and Shane is still <em>fucking</em> talking even as the door to the carrier is being opened and—</p><p>
  <strong>Ryan <em>screeches</em> because this is <em>fucking bullshit</em>.</strong>
</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>he’s right and he should say it.</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>“C’mon, dude,” and Shane is <em>begging</em> him now, “you can use the air time to get some rest. How’s that sound?”</p><p>
  <strong>Ryan bites him. Maybe a little too hard. Maybe not hard enough. There’s definitely blood, but whatever – Shane’s finger is still attached and Ryan’s still a <em>fucking</em> <em>parrot</em>. They’re both losers here.</strong>
</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>i knew immediately that this was going to be the summary. this is one of those fics where everything really just kinda came together - sometimes i have to try really hard to get humor right (my brand has loooong been one of angst, because angst is easy, so writing humor was still fairly new to me when i wrote this - but something about writing shane and ryan makes it easier; maybe it’s because the show puts you in a certain headspace, idk idk).</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><strong>Five long hours later*</strong> and Ryan has decided that he’s going to murder everyone on the flight who owns a dog – he memorizes their faces, matching them with the addresses on the tags. <strong>He screams at all of them.**</strong></p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>* this is true, i googled it</strong>
  </p>
  <p>
    <strong>** lmao imagine picking up your critter after your flight and there’s a parrot w blood on its carrier just screaming at you</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>When, finally, Shane and <strong>TJ and Devon</strong> come around the corner, he screams at them, too – not feeling even slightly guilty at the way nearly all of Shane’s fingers have been bandaged. He isn’t even swayed when Shane collapses in front of the carrier – relief written all over his stupid face.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>this is the only time they get the shout out, from here on: they disappear. sorry. i’m sure they would’ve checked in on ryan and shane at some point, of course, but i sure definitely didn’t write it.</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Nope, no guilt, no remorse here.</p><p>None.</p><p>Ryan obviously goes home with Shane and if he’s just a bit quieter as Shane carefully buckles the carrier into the backseat, well, it’s just because he’s tired.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>They stop at a pet store just long enough for Shane to <strong>grab a bed, a perch, a bag of bird food, and a few sympathetic glances</strong>. One lady tries to stick her finger in the carrier to pet Ryan and Shane barely has time to jerk the carrier away, making Ryan’s beak snap closed on nothing but air.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>“physical thing, physical thing, physical thing, and intangible thing” has the same energy as “he smelled like thing, thing, and something uniquely like himself”; i’m sure it’s an overused trope, but i love it.</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>“He’s, uh,” Shane stutters, trying to fight his way through exhaustion and maybe a bit of blood loss. “I just adopted him,” he finally says, clutching the carrier to his chest, <strong>making only the smallest noise as Ryan begins chewing at his arm</strong>, “he’s, uh, he’s from a rough home.”</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>parrot ryan is an asshole, bless his heart</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>“Oh,” the lady says, watching worriedly as Shane begins to bleed through his shirt. “<strong>Well, I work with abused birds, maybe I can</strong>—”</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>if she did, she should’ve known better than to stick her finger into a strange parrot’s carrier. (lmao what’s that plot hole meme? “thanks, it has pockets!” that’s me, rn.)</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Ryan cuts her off with the shrillest shriek he can manage, trying to flap his wings in the confined space of the animal carrier.</p><p>“Tha<strong>nks, but I gotta—,” Shane interrupts as Ryan shrieks again, “—I gotta g</strong>o.”</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>shane is trying his best, thanks</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Despite himself, Ryan feels a <strong>sense of calmness wash over him</strong> once they’re in Shane’s apartment.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>tfw you come home from a trip - no matter if it was good or bad, and you instantly just deflate</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Shane sets the perch on the coffee table and the small cat bed on the side of the couch Ryan’s always preferred. Then he grabs two shallow dishes and fills one with water and the other with food.</p><p>“<strong>Are you going to divebomb me or anything?</strong>” Shane asks, his hand hesitating on the door to Ryan’s carrier.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>it’s a fair question, imo</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p><strong>Ryan makes a low noise in the back of his throat – aside from squawks and shrieks and screams, Ryan was still figuring out parrot vocal cords and how to manipulate them</strong>. What he wanted to say was: <em>The fuck you think? Of course I am. </em>Instead, what comes out is a low vocalization, not unlike static from the spirit box.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>source for parrot noises: i knew a parrot once when i was kid (it was a macaw and it’s beak terrified me even tho he was v gentle], and also youtube</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Shane, the idiot, doesn’t seem to interpret it the way Ryan wants him to, and opens the door.</p><p>Ryan jumps out and he’s opening his beak and spreading his wings to really lay into Shane—</p><p>—but then the fight seems to just <em>drain</em> out of him.</p><p>He’s tired. He’s hungry. He wants his own bed and he wants a burger and he wants to—</p><p>Ryan lets his wings droop and feels himself huff a sigh, before walking as carefully as he can over to the edge of the coffee table and, with a few flaps of his wings, settles into what looks like will be his new bed for the foreseeable future.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>poor sad parrot ryan</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Before he goes to bed, Shane looks Ryan in the eye, swears, “I’m going to figure this out, <strong>Ry</strong>. I am.”</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>ry. ry. ry. ry. that’s it that’s all i’ve got. you get it.</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Ryan just makes that low noise in his throat again and turns away, trying to fold into himself as much as he can.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>By the time Shane wakes up and makes it out into the living room, Ryan has perfected exactly three words and he demonstrates them proudly as a greeting.</p><p>“<strong>Fuck you, Shane,</strong>” Ryan says, puffing up his feathers as much as he can.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>it starts. i think at first i was going to have ryan figure out more words along the way, but i really liked the idea of him just sticking w these three words and then using tone and inflections to convey meaning.</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>He’s not sure what exactly he was expecting in response – maybe a “fuck you, too, Ryan” or something – but instead all he gets is Shane looking at him, not even cracking a smile.</p><p>“Yeah,” he says. “Fuck me.”</p><p>Which is bullshit, because Shane shouldn’t be the sad one here.</p><p>
  <strong>He doesn’t even have a fucking beak.</strong>
</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>i stand by this line.</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t know why either of them think it’s a good idea to bring Ryan into work on the absolute off-chance that <em>someone</em> might know something about random ass bird transformations.</p><p>Ryan stays perched on Shane’s shoulder, occasionally biting Shane’s ear just to listen to Shane swallow a yelp of pain and also maybe to watch the blood ruin Shane’s too white button-up.</p><p>The first people they run into is, of course, Steven and Andrew, in the middle of filming an intro to the next epis<strong>ode of <em>Worth It</em></strong>.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>for this bit, i was picture that one episode where they started off outside. i think steven finds andrew in an alley and is just like ‘hey, lemme feed you today’ and that’s when shane walks up w ryan.</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Ryan tries to beat his wings and steer Shane away – <strong>he’s never going to live this down with Steven if Steven sees him like this*</strong> – but Shane just reaches up and grabs Ryan with both of his stupidly <strong>big hands**</strong> that easily wrap around Ryan’s parrot body.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>* this kinda hits different now that i’m aware of just how close ryan and steven actually are; see: ryan’s episode of <em>dish granted</em>.</strong>
  </p>
  <p>
    <strong>** ‘big hands’ WINK WINK</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Ryan bites him and snaps, “Fuck you, Shane.”</p><p>Shane winces but he’s already closed the distance and Steven and Andrew are looking at him with extreme concern.</p><p>“Uh, we’re in the middle of something,” Steven says. <strong>“We can help you with whatever video you’re shooting this afternoon? Maybe tomorrow?”</strong></p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>when you work at buzzfeed, your coworker coming up to you w a parrot in his (bloodied) hands is just par for the course, ain’t it?</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>“What? No,” Shane says, shaking his head even as he holds Ryan up so Steven and Andrew could see him better. “This is very much <em>not</em> for a video. Look, this is going to sound fucking <em>insane</em>, okay, but I really need some help—”</p><p>Ryan can’t help himself. “Fuck you, Shane,” he says.</p><p>
  <strong>Steven’s eyes lock in on him immediately. “Is that—?”</strong>
</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>so glad this worked out, because of course steven would recognize ryan even when he’s a parrot</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>“It is,” Shane says, nodding.</p><p>Andrew lifts his eyebrows, “Dude, you are absolutely <em>covered</em> in blood.”</p><p><em>Better blood than feathers</em>, Ryan thinks to himself even as he narrows his eyes at Steven. Steven’s got this disappointed look on his face as he puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head.</p><p>“Ryan, man, c’mon,” he says.</p><p>“<strong>Fuck you,” Ryan says, dragging out the <em>youuuuuu</em> and ruffling his feathe</strong>rs again.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>l o o k, i need y’all to understand this image: a green parrot, trapped in someone’s hands, blood on his beak, screaming ‘fuck you’ as he throws his head back and is basically howling ‘youuuuuuuuu’ like he’s actually some gd youtube tantrum husky.</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Steven shares a look with Andrew, who turns back to Shane. “<strong>Ask Curly</strong>. He might know something.”</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>curly knows all</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Curly knows a lot of things, it turns out. Like where exactly it is he should be scratching Ryan even as he coos out stupid nonsense Ryan doesn’t think he’d tolerate from anyone else.</p><p>Almost anyone else.</p><p>
  <strong>Shane doesn’t count.</strong>
</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>am i being obvious yet.</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>“Go talk to Zach,” Curly finally recommends as he gives Ryan one last scratch. “<strong>I’m almost positive this happened to Eugene once</strong>.”</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>so, if you’ve spent any time in hockey fandom, you’ll recognize ‘it happened to the try guys once’ as the equivalent to ‘it happened to a teammate in juniors’.</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>“Really?” Shane asks, perking up. “Why didn’t we hear about it?”</p><p>Curly smirks and lowers his voice. “Because Eugene didn’t turn into a bird –<strong> I don’t know what it was, but it was something embarrassing, I hear</strong>.”</p><p>Ryan wants to roll his eyes. <strong>Eugene could turn into a rat</strong> and he’d still be the most attractive person at Buzzfeed.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>he turned into a beta fish; a beautiful, ornery beta fish. also just had to take a quick break to watch his scene in b99 lmao.</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>“Do you know how he got changed back?” Shane asks.</p><p>Curly shakes his head and Shane’s expression goes dark as he puts his head in his hands.</p><p>Ryan sighs and hops away from Curly, gingerly walking up to Shane and saying, “Fuck you, Shane,” in a way he hopes comes across more like <em>cheer up, big guy</em>.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>if you still have your youtube tab open, search for ‘parrot stomping feet’ and click on the ‘cute parrot walking’ video - that’s ryan walking up to shane.</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>When Shane peeks between his fingers, he gives Ryan an assessing look and, seeming to find what he was looking for, cracks a small smile.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The only news Zach has for them is that Eugene did in fact get changed into a [<strong>redacted</strong>] and that it had been caused by stress. He’d then given Ryan and Shane <em>a Look</em> that neither of them were immediately able to discern, before quietly turning and leaving them to their thoughts.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>beta fish; i hadn’t been able to decide when i first wrote this, but i’m saying now that it was a beta fish.</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Their thoughts last a week with Ryan and Shane exactly no closer to figuring out who caused this or what – all while falling increasingly behind at work. Shane tries to pick up as much of the slack as he can – editing footage for the next episode of<strong> <em>Ruining History</em> </strong>and, once, trying his hand at <em>Unsolved </em>– just to have Ryan <em>scream</em> at him for his audacity.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>timeline what timeline; i’m not sure if <em>ruining history</em> had been cancelled at this point or not, but i think we as a fandom can all agree that that show can last as long as it’s necessary for the plot</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>It was enough to drive a parrot to drink.</p><p>If only his body could metabolize the amount of alcohol he was longing for. Instead, Ryan had had to get accustomed to fucking parrot food and an assortment of parrot-safe veggies (all of which tastes <em>delightful</em> to his new taste buds) that <strong>Shane very methodically researches and picks out</strong>.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>get you a man who will research your needs based on whatever physical form you currently have</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>It was enough to drive a parrot to drink.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The world is stupidly big from Ryan’s new point-of-view. Yeah, the wings, after he’s gotten used to them, are pretty gnarly and useful for when he feels like divebombing Shane from the top of the refrigerator or whenever the hop from the perch on the coffee table to the couch just seems like Too Much Effort. <strong>The colors are different, too – but not really in ways that he’s got the vocabulary to explai</strong>n. They’re just—they’re <em>more</em>, somehow – as <strong>if the saturation’s been turned all the way up</strong>.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>found out during research that parrots see the word differently than we do, which is always fun, and had to find a way to work it into the fic</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Shane himself is bigger than he’s ever been and that itself makes Ryan snap <strong>his beak in frustration</strong>, <strong>makes his feathers stand on end.</strong> Which, of course, <strong>Shane notices</strong> – because he’s been ridiculously attentive to Ryan’s body language, reading whatever he’s got on pulled up on his phone about parrot behavior, as if Ryan’s an actual fucking parrot – anyway – Shane <em>notices</em>. And he says to Ryan—</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>this is where that tweet (<a href="https://twitter.com/griffinblade/status/1033873158628147200?s=09">link</a>) about the fluffenchops comes into play</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>“You okay, man? Can I get you anything?”</p><p>And Ryan feels his cheek feathers moving and fluffing up and he hates the way his body is betraying him like this. So, because he can, he says, “Fuck you, Shane.” And right about the third time this happens, Shane’s face is no longer falling – instead he’s giving Ryan just this quiet little smile.</p><p>“Yeah,” is all he says before he turns back to the television, “fuck me.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The cat bed isn’t uncomfortable, exactly, it’s just that, well, <strong>Shane’s bed is better.</strong></p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>i know y’all see where this is going right</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Shane hadn’t even bothered to protest when he saw Ryan walking into the room as he himself changed and Ryan, with a quick flap of his wings, got up onto the bed.</p><p>Ryan wasted no time – just settling himself in against a pillow before tucking his head under a wing. He doesn’t even look up as the bed dips and Shane crawls in, pulling the covers up and over the both of them and, carefully, tucking the blankets around Ryan. And Ryan, despite himself, makes another noise high in the back of his throat as Shane shifts the bedding around him.</p><p>“<strong>I’m gonna get us through this,” Shane says,</strong> his voice soft as the pad of his thumb brushes briefly over the feathered crown of Ryan’s head.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>once more: shane is Trying Okay, Thanks</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Ryan pretends he doesn’t lean into the touch.</p><p>In the morning, Ryan is curled against Shane’s chest, his head being moved in the slow up-and-down motion in tandem with Shane’s breathing. <strong>It was a moment that, if he wasn’t so feathered, would have been so perfect. But he is, so it isn’t.</strong></p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>when a thing does the thing like this? i like it.</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>He’s just about to try extricating himself when Shane’s <strong>arm comes up and tightens around Ryan</strong>. Ryan is just about to go with his initial instinct to bite Shane – <em>hard</em> – but th<strong>en the arm is loosening</strong>, and a rumbling laugh is coming up through Shane’s chest, shaking the bed and Ryan and maybe Ryan’s resolve, too.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>looking back on this, idk how much you can hug your parrot like this? i’m glad so many of y’all just went with it tho</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>“C’mon,” Shane is saying, “let’s see what we can scrounge up for breakfast.”</p><p>Ryan, just so he doesn’t lose face, nips at Shane’s forearm. And, because he cares, he doesn’t even break the skin. Shane laughs and before Ryan can really gather his wits around him, Shane is pressing a casual kiss to the back of Ryan’s head and crawling out of bed in one smooth motion.</p><p><strong>Ryan feels his cheek feathers begin fluffing up and his, “Fuck you, Shane,” doesn’t have near as much as heat as he’d like</strong>.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>i love this sentence and the mental image it produces.</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Yet another week passes and Ryan’s still a bird and he’s given up all hope. H<strong>e spends his days perched on Shane’s shoulder at work – muttering as many vague encouragements through different inflections of “Fuck you, Shane” as he thinks he can get away wit</strong>h – while his nights are spent “<strong>accidentally” snuggled up to Shane’s chest</strong>, just reveling in the feeling of Shane’s chest slowly going up and down, up and down, up and down.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>those’re them Developments.</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>It’s during one of these nights that Ryan thinks, <em>I can get used to this</em>, just as he’s drifting off to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The first thing Ryan notices is that sensation of <strong>soft sheets against his bare skin.</strong></p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>hey!</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Then his eyes are flying open, because—</p><p><em>Soft sheets against his bare skin</em>.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>i put it in italics in case you missed it the first time (～￣▽￣)～</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>“Holy shit,” he says, darting straight up and realizing so many things at once – the world’s colors were back to normal saturation, everything in Shane’s room was the proper size, Shane was looking up him with wide and astonished eyes and Shane’s arm was around his waist, and, <em>god</em>, Ryan was <em>starving</em>.</p><p>Oh, wait. Shit—</p><p>Shane. Shane’s arm was around Ryan’s waist. Shane’s arm was around Ryan’s <em>naked</em> waist.</p><p>Ryan yelps and goes to leap away but suddenly Shane is tightening his hold on Ryan and pulling him down and intertwining their legs together and shifting his body so that he’s kinda half on top of Ryan. “It’s Saturday,” he grumbles, his voice deep and faux-sleepy, “we’re not getting up this early.”</p><p>An<strong>d Ryan wants to protest – he absolutely <em>wants</em> to get up this early. He wants to run around on his two legs and wave his non-feathered arms around. But. But this</strong>—</p><p></p><blockquote>
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    <strong>tfw you have to make a choice</strong>
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</blockquote><p>Shane wrapped around him – Shane who’s been with him through this whole thing even as Ryan savaged him with beak and tongue, who’s looking at him now as if he’s terrified Ryan’s going to actually run. So, Ryan does what makes sense in the moment.</p><p>Ryan sighs, gives Shane a little half-smile, and says, <strong>“Fuck you, Shane,</strong>” with as much adoration as he can muster.</p><p>Shane, his face half-obscured by the pillow, smiles back and says, “Y<strong>eah. Fuck me.</strong>”</p><p></p><blockquote>
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    <strong>last lines are so so important to me - they can make or break a fic - and i love how this one really just wrapped itself up nice and neat. i said it earlier, i think, that this fic really just flowed - it all came together really nicely and the ending, which is typically one of the hardest parts of a fic to write for me, was no exception. i wish that happened more often, lol.</strong>
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</blockquote><p> </p><p>-z-</p><p> </p><p>End.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>That’s all for this fic, thanks for reading! if you have any questions about the fic, or want to ask about something i didn’t cover, feel free to leave a comment!</strong>
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